Rare case of not needing Meds for ADHD child

Although the journey has not come to an end, I feel as though we reached a very big hilltop at our last meeting with the Consultant Paediatrician.

At the start of this academic year, our son took a test with the rest of his class and scored the lowest mark. There are many factors that contributed to this low grade all to do with a lot of changes that had occurred in our lives and a very unsettled environment.  The start of each new academic year is always hard on DS (dear son) and it usually takes a couple of months for him to settle down. We are very aware that year 6 is a crucial year as it is the year that you choose a secondary school to attend for the next 7 years.  Being placed in the bottom set was a very hard pill to swallow and I was going to make sure that my son did not stay in this group for very long.

The teachers, as nice as they are, didn’t really make great efforts to drag my son out from the bottom. I do admit that DS can be a lot of hard work, and with the rest of the class being so focussed, why should the teachers go out of their very busy schedule for a difficult child. I have always known that the only person who is willing to go the extra mile is me, his mother. I went out and bought all kinds of books and 10 minute tests and started to work with my son at home after school. Yes the day was long for him and yes he did have his tantrums at times, but I didn’t give up. It’s my son’s future at stake.

For all those people who don’t approve, that’s your opinion but I know that I want the best for my child and being the bottom of his class when he has potential to do so much more is something I can’t ignore. If I can help him, I will help him. And in case you are wondering why it’s so important that my son gets into a good school, read on.

As I have been the only consistent teacher in my son’s life (each year, he gets a new teacher), I know what he is capable of, what level he is at and which areas he is strong / weak at. I immediately realised that my son got the bottom mark because he didn’t put any effort in his test, he thought he could just cruise along at his usual lethargic pace, not realising that the kids around him were really focussed.

DS has to put a lot of effort into doing things that most ‘normal’ people do automatically. For example, when I’m walking in the street holding hands with my son, after a short while, I start to feel very tired and strained, I then realise that I a min fact dragging my son rather than him walking along side me. What would happen was that my son would stop exerting the extra effort required to walk, and allow me to take over. So you see, even walking takes a lot out of these types of kids, let alone full-blown sports like football!!!

So now, i’m working with DS and constantly explaining how important this year is both for him and for us. Very quickly, the exam results started improving. DS was moved to the middle set…………………. Still not good enough!!!!

The work has been consistent, but I have made sure that DS has not felt over whelmed or felt that all he is doing is work all day and no play. I kept the work time short eg 10 minute tests followed by a lot of free play etc. The constant discussions about the importance to be better coupled by the instant acknowledgement that all this hard work was paying off, is what kept DS going on. Within 6 weeks, DS was moved to the TOP set.

This level of success was a great boost for DS. He could see that by putting the effort in, he produced such dramatic results, despite having these needs. I think of all those children who are always loud and disruptive in the classroom. If they got the same level of support as I gave my son, how much more could they achieve.

So  1) Why did I tell you it’s so important for DS to get into a good school?

The Consultant Paediatrician explained to me why my son is always displaying traits of ‘silliness’. She said that the brains of these types of kids, develop a lot slower than their peers. They do eventually catch up around their early twenties. However, they will always be immature and silly, in comparison to their peers, during their school lives. As humans, we tend to be attracted and attract like-minded friends. I could never understand why DS would always beeline the naughtiest kid in class. I soon realised that it was because he had found someone on his immature wave length.

I also noticed that my son is very competitive. He has this attitude of ‘ I can do better than him’. So, what DS does, is works to the ceiling point of his class and stops there. Currently DS has reached the top of his class, great achievement as it is, if a new child were to arrive and topple DS off the top spot, DS would take the challenge and work on gaining his top spot again. With this knowledge, I think it is important for my son to be in a school of very academic pupils so that he can try to work to his greatest potential. If he were to attend a school where the standards were not so high, DS would just hover at that lower level and thus under achieve.

And 2)   Why have I just told you this long story?

Our long-awaited meeting with the Doctor was to get the ball rolling with medication, (as mentioned in previous posts). At the start of the meeting, I explained how DS had improved from bottom set to top set within 6 weeks. The Doctor was so delighted. She informed me that in this very rare case, (she has been dealing with ADHD and Medication for well over 30 years), DS would not benefit from medicaetion….YAY!!!

Her explanation was that usually meds are handed out to allow an under achieving child (the ADHD causes this under achievement) to work better with more focus, so that they can improve their academic ability, (amongst other benefits). Since DS has clearly developed a skill to allow him to push himself without the use of meds, there is no point in giving it to him….once again…YAY!!!

As you can imagine, we were ecstatic. DS said, “now they won’t take away my quirkiness!!!!”

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